when i was five my dad got in a bad car accident he was at work drinking and got on the road about 10 Mins before all of this happen he called and said he'll be home soon but never came and it still hurts to this day and its been nine years since his death so how do i go by dealing with his deathHow do you deal with a love ones death?
the best thing you can do is keep him in your thoughts. this may hurt you but think of all he fun you guys had and the good things about him.
it will hurt because he wont be there to laugh with you about them but it works trust me. when your down and thinking about him think of something he would do to make you feel better and it will help. keep him in your memories. when you see or hear things that remind you about him just think of how happy he is of you even if he ain't here with you. he's with you in Spirit. and just know that he is looking down at you watching you and goes with you ever where in Spirit.How do you deal with a love ones death?
The best thing you can do is keep him in your thoughts, try to remember all the good things about him and most importantly know that he loves you and is always around even though you cant see him.
Keep lots of pictures of him around, and make sure you celebrate his birthday, don't let his memory die.
Although tragic, his death probably saved lives of innocent people. If you believe he is better now than you can move on. I had a similar situation. I accept that while they were here they touched the lives of many.
Monday, December 12, 2011
I love my boyfriend so much and i can't imagine my life without him, but i'm so confused!?
Okay, here's the deal. I love my boyfriend so much. I would do anything for him. We've been together about 4 months, i'm 19 and he's 21 and we're both in college. This is the longest relationship i've ever had, actually probably my 1st REAL relationship. We just click so well together and i could see myself with him for the rest of my life. And i mean, i was the first one to say ';i love you'; and then he immediatly said it after and we both started crying. We are just so open with each other and we have a really healthy relationship. I just am really confused. i feel like my head won't let me be happy. This has happened many times in my life with practically everything that should be enjoyable for me, but i start thinking too much and feel screwed up in the head because i'm thinking this way. It's like an endless cycle that i don't know how to shake. Whenever we're together and things are wonderful and we're just like cuddling or something, i just can't stop thinking, ';do i really love him?';, or ';are we supposed to be together?';
And i even thought to myself, i would love to marry this guy someday. And i actually told him that. I said, '; would you marry me someday'; and he said, ';when the time comes';. Then i was like, ';yeah, it's not like i wanna get married tomorrow or anything, basically i just want you to know that i wanna spend the rest of my life with you. but i would love for you to be my husband.'; And then he said, ';i like the sound of that. I guess that would make you my wife then.'; So the point is, we are so happy together. But i just don't understand why i'm thinking these thoughts.
could it be that i feel like i shouldn't of said that, and maybe now i feel trapped? but i shouldn't feel trapped cuz i love him so much! I take anxiety medicine (like generic zoloft), but i don't know if i have depression or something else like that. My mom said maybe i should get cognitive therapy to control my thinking. but i just wanted to try this first and see what ya'll thought. Anyway, sorry this was so long, i just wanted to make sure i got my point across. lol.I love my boyfriend so much and i can't imagine my life without him, but i'm so confused!?
Since you say this if your first real relationship maybe you think this might be it but your feelings are not sure yet. Just give it more time and maybe your feelings will change over time once you have been together longer with him. You shouldn't let a relationship control your happiness. The only way you are happy is with yourself, not someone else making you happy. Sure a relationship fills some needs but you should be happy even without him.I love my boyfriend so much and i can't imagine my life without him, but i'm so confused!?
HI, I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN ... WERE ON THE SAME BOAT (SADLY). SO AS MUCH AS I WOULD LIKE TO HELP YOU I TOO HAVE BEEN GOING THROUGH THE SAME THING. I HOPE THINGS CHANGE , COZ FELLING THAT WAY CAN AND WILL RUIN OUR RELATIONSHIPS... JUST KNOW YOURE NOT THE ONLY ONE.
SORRY I WASNT OF ANY HELP. GOOD LUCK!Soiled Bed Sheets cover up a fungus toenail
And i even thought to myself, i would love to marry this guy someday. And i actually told him that. I said, '; would you marry me someday'; and he said, ';when the time comes';. Then i was like, ';yeah, it's not like i wanna get married tomorrow or anything, basically i just want you to know that i wanna spend the rest of my life with you. but i would love for you to be my husband.'; And then he said, ';i like the sound of that. I guess that would make you my wife then.'; So the point is, we are so happy together. But i just don't understand why i'm thinking these thoughts.
could it be that i feel like i shouldn't of said that, and maybe now i feel trapped? but i shouldn't feel trapped cuz i love him so much! I take anxiety medicine (like generic zoloft), but i don't know if i have depression or something else like that. My mom said maybe i should get cognitive therapy to control my thinking. but i just wanted to try this first and see what ya'll thought. Anyway, sorry this was so long, i just wanted to make sure i got my point across. lol.I love my boyfriend so much and i can't imagine my life without him, but i'm so confused!?
Since you say this if your first real relationship maybe you think this might be it but your feelings are not sure yet. Just give it more time and maybe your feelings will change over time once you have been together longer with him. You shouldn't let a relationship control your happiness. The only way you are happy is with yourself, not someone else making you happy. Sure a relationship fills some needs but you should be happy even without him.I love my boyfriend so much and i can't imagine my life without him, but i'm so confused!?
HI, I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN ... WERE ON THE SAME BOAT (SADLY). SO AS MUCH AS I WOULD LIKE TO HELP YOU I TOO HAVE BEEN GOING THROUGH THE SAME THING. I HOPE THINGS CHANGE , COZ FELLING THAT WAY CAN AND WILL RUIN OUR RELATIONSHIPS... JUST KNOW YOURE NOT THE ONLY ONE.
SORRY I WASNT OF ANY HELP. GOOD LUCK!
Love question!?
How do i deal with love? I like this guy in school but am afraid to ask him out, what should i do? then what if i do ask him out but HE doesn't feel the same for me?Love question!?
Sit down and talk to him.
You will not gain anything by hiding in the shadows.
Good luckLove question!?
Feel him out first don't out and out ask him. Strike up a casual conversation and go from there.
If that is true, say NEXT.
There will be other guys.
If he doesnt feel the same way at least you asked, and what if he does, then it could be the start of a relationship. I say go for it!
Well thats why with love or lust comes risks. You gotta take risks to get what you want otherwise you will never get what you want. Soo I say go for it you will do fine. Good luck
take care
Then it wan't meant to be. You never know love can happen anywhere.
i wouldn't ask him out. wait for him to come to you. if he isn't interested, he isn't worth your time.
kay first off, this ain`t love hun [= but it`s nice to know you like someonee. don`t just ask him out like asap that`s kinda freaky; no offense. get to know him ! you might not even like him once you talk to him. [= just be careful %26amp; know there`s more fish in the sea.` %26amp; don`t ask him out, he`ll ask you out if he feels the same way. [=
Go for it, honey! If you never ask him out you'll always wonder ';what if?'; And if he doesn't feel the same way as you do, then just chalk it up to learning and move on...it builds character.
You're answer is within your question.
You're still in school and think you love him, but you haven't even gone out with him? Just pay attention to education. These emotions will lead you down the wrong road. I would know. I'm 15.
Getting a boyfriend will not fill that gap in your life until you're actually ready to settle down. It is okay to crush, but I wouldn't recommend going out with anyone. Education comes before relationship so you can actually have some interests to talk about in the future.
Relationships at a young age will give you nothing but heart break and anxiety, while education offers you a well-paying job and a steady life.
just ask him out in a simple way and if he did not feel the same way dont let him see or feel that you are disappoint.be casual
Yeah I was having that convo w my ex bf today (were still good firends) and he wanted to ask someone out but had the fear of rejection so i just keep encouragng him
Ask him out. You'll never know otherwise, and you'll feel better with yourself trying.
ask that biach out
u should tell him u like him then start out as friends and let it flow, get to know him a lil better. if u go 2 quickly, he might get pressured, like its too sudden, u get?
just ask him
chill girl if he dont like u its ook ther was this i liked and i asked him out through a friend and he said no every time i didnt let it bother me and l8r i found out hes not the 1 4 me but if he does then u go girl but just ask him out k God bless
Maybe if you approached it totally from a ';casual';, friend -like type of thing. Like, instead of asking him out like how someone would ask someone out that they are interested in, approach it in a casual, conversational manner. Lets see if I can give you an example..... hmmmm.......Like you could start talking to him and ask if he's ever been ';to wherever'; and you could say something like, I havent, but I want to so bad and I was thinking about doing it soon... And then sometime later (that week, or so) you could have a casual conversation with him again, and this time, tell him that you are finally gonna go do this... and HEY, would he like to go with you since you don't really want to do it by yourself.... or something like that....
OK. Been there done that. Just talk to him and find out who he likes or if he has a girlfriend. Then just tell him you like him but since your afraid to you might want to do it over a holiday, through e-mail, text messaging, a note, etc. Anything were you don't have to look them in the eye and say it because that is really hard and awkward. But if he says no and he is your true friend then everything will be ok. Just do it because you don't want to regret not doing it.
Sit down and talk to him.
You will not gain anything by hiding in the shadows.
Good luckLove question!?
Feel him out first don't out and out ask him. Strike up a casual conversation and go from there.
If that is true, say NEXT.
There will be other guys.
If he doesnt feel the same way at least you asked, and what if he does, then it could be the start of a relationship. I say go for it!
Well thats why with love or lust comes risks. You gotta take risks to get what you want otherwise you will never get what you want. Soo I say go for it you will do fine. Good luck
take care
Then it wan't meant to be. You never know love can happen anywhere.
i wouldn't ask him out. wait for him to come to you. if he isn't interested, he isn't worth your time.
kay first off, this ain`t love hun [= but it`s nice to know you like someonee. don`t just ask him out like asap that`s kinda freaky; no offense. get to know him ! you might not even like him once you talk to him. [= just be careful %26amp; know there`s more fish in the sea.` %26amp; don`t ask him out, he`ll ask you out if he feels the same way. [=
Go for it, honey! If you never ask him out you'll always wonder ';what if?'; And if he doesn't feel the same way as you do, then just chalk it up to learning and move on...it builds character.
You're answer is within your question.
You're still in school and think you love him, but you haven't even gone out with him? Just pay attention to education. These emotions will lead you down the wrong road. I would know. I'm 15.
Getting a boyfriend will not fill that gap in your life until you're actually ready to settle down. It is okay to crush, but I wouldn't recommend going out with anyone. Education comes before relationship so you can actually have some interests to talk about in the future.
Relationships at a young age will give you nothing but heart break and anxiety, while education offers you a well-paying job and a steady life.
just ask him out in a simple way and if he did not feel the same way dont let him see or feel that you are disappoint.be casual
Yeah I was having that convo w my ex bf today (were still good firends) and he wanted to ask someone out but had the fear of rejection so i just keep encouragng him
Ask him out. You'll never know otherwise, and you'll feel better with yourself trying.
ask that biach out
u should tell him u like him then start out as friends and let it flow, get to know him a lil better. if u go 2 quickly, he might get pressured, like its too sudden, u get?
just ask him
chill girl if he dont like u its ook ther was this i liked and i asked him out through a friend and he said no every time i didnt let it bother me and l8r i found out hes not the 1 4 me but if he does then u go girl but just ask him out k God bless
Maybe if you approached it totally from a ';casual';, friend -like type of thing. Like, instead of asking him out like how someone would ask someone out that they are interested in, approach it in a casual, conversational manner. Lets see if I can give you an example..... hmmmm.......Like you could start talking to him and ask if he's ever been ';to wherever'; and you could say something like, I havent, but I want to so bad and I was thinking about doing it soon... And then sometime later (that week, or so) you could have a casual conversation with him again, and this time, tell him that you are finally gonna go do this... and HEY, would he like to go with you since you don't really want to do it by yourself.... or something like that....
OK. Been there done that. Just talk to him and find out who he likes or if he has a girlfriend. Then just tell him you like him but since your afraid to you might want to do it over a holiday, through e-mail, text messaging, a note, etc. Anything were you don't have to look them in the eye and say it because that is really hard and awkward. But if he says no and he is your true friend then everything will be ok. Just do it because you don't want to regret not doing it.
How to deal with a love situation..... please help so confused need opinions BAD !?
I have my ex who I love very much. We broke up a couple of months ago because we had too much going on in our lives to be together so we figured take time for ourselves before we ruin what we have, and get back togehter. we decided to not see other people, but time started to drag on and i wanted to get back together and he didnt want to yet, he still had too much going on to be able to give me what i needed. I recently started dating a new guy, it just kinda happened, who i also have feelings for. Now my ex wants to talk with me, if i still feel strongly about my ex and want to be with him, do i tell him about this other guy ive been dating ? and how do i tell this most recent guy if i do get back with my ex, i dont want to hurt anyone here. but im scared to loose my ex if i decide i want to get back with him and tell him about this other guy..... please helpHow to deal with a love situation..... please help so confused need opinions BAD !?
You dont have to be scared to lose anyone. Because if your ex leaves or your current bf leaves you its their lost. Its really hard to say can you see you and you ex going long term maybe more or the other guy. Not saying choose your ex, its something you have to think really hard an compare both. GL with this.How to deal with a love situation..... please help so confused need opinions BAD !?
sounds like you want the cake and be able to eat it too,you need to make a decision
Well I have figured out it is great to be honest and say what is on your mind the first time around. If you have feelings for your Ex you have to tell the guy you are with right away, otherwise you will be dealing with the guilt of wanting two ppl. It is difficult to see in the beginning but telling the truth is always right. Its better to get through it than to have feeling build up and have them broken up in the end. Be true to yourself and those you care for.
Of Course you tell him about this other guy -- he's the one that wasn't ready to get together- what , did he think you'd wait forever?? didn't happen!!!
Just be honest w/ your ex -- tell him there is somebody else -- and make sure he wants to be back together with you --- If you want to be with him -- be with him-- don't be playing 2 guys though.
don't keep dragging it on.
Hi there-
It seems from your email that you and your ex are probably in your early 20's or teens. There's a reason why people are ex'es and break up. You weren't very decriptive on why you broke up. If you both love one another so much, that doesn't seem like such a compeling reason to break up. ';Having too much going on in your lives';.
I would not mention you are dating someone else to your ex. This would only hurt him. I would say talk to your ex and really examine the relationship and see if it would make sense to try to see each other again or continue going your separate ways. Really examine why you broke up and look at the pros and cons. Hope this helps!
You dont have to be scared to lose anyone. Because if your ex leaves or your current bf leaves you its their lost. Its really hard to say can you see you and you ex going long term maybe more or the other guy. Not saying choose your ex, its something you have to think really hard an compare both. GL with this.How to deal with a love situation..... please help so confused need opinions BAD !?
sounds like you want the cake and be able to eat it too,you need to make a decision
Well I have figured out it is great to be honest and say what is on your mind the first time around. If you have feelings for your Ex you have to tell the guy you are with right away, otherwise you will be dealing with the guilt of wanting two ppl. It is difficult to see in the beginning but telling the truth is always right. Its better to get through it than to have feeling build up and have them broken up in the end. Be true to yourself and those you care for.
Of Course you tell him about this other guy -- he's the one that wasn't ready to get together- what , did he think you'd wait forever?? didn't happen!!!
Just be honest w/ your ex -- tell him there is somebody else -- and make sure he wants to be back together with you --- If you want to be with him -- be with him-- don't be playing 2 guys though.
don't keep dragging it on.
Hi there-
It seems from your email that you and your ex are probably in your early 20's or teens. There's a reason why people are ex'es and break up. You weren't very decriptive on why you broke up. If you both love one another so much, that doesn't seem like such a compeling reason to break up. ';Having too much going on in your lives';.
I would not mention you are dating someone else to your ex. This would only hurt him. I would say talk to your ex and really examine the relationship and see if it would make sense to try to see each other again or continue going your separate ways. Really examine why you broke up and look at the pros and cons. Hope this helps!
How do I announce my engagement to my disapproving father?
Well, to start off, my amazing boyfriend whom I love unconditionally has just proposed! I am so excited...but sadly I'm also feeling pretty anxious, because now we have to announce it. A few close family members and my best friend already know, and they support us 100%. HOWEVER---it's telling my parents that worries me...They have never had much faith in me, and when I say they, I mean my dad. He and I are pretty much always bashing heads, always arguing. You could say we bring out the worst in each other. He thinks I'm a foolish, manipulative child, and I think of him as a controlling, paranoid, very bitter old man...Harsh I know...But he just doesn't know how to deal with his children growing up. He has NO IDEA on how to communicate. If I talk calmly to him, he thinks I am mocking him. Worst thing is, is that he knows exactly what buttons to press to make me snap. It is extremely frustrating. My older sister went through the same thing when she moved out and got married. She always said that her relationship with our dad was like the Cold War. Mine however, is like Iraq. Never a moments peace. He also doesn't like my boyfriend at all. My boyfriend is in the Army, and my dad, who was an officer in the Navy for many years, immediately placed negative stereotypes on him...It's so ridiculous how those old military rivalries actually are taken seriously...
So I guess I'm back to my question: How do I tell them? How do I deal with my father? I'm worried that we won't be on speaking terms for several years. I'm worried that they won't help us at all with our wedding, and they'll be very poor sports, or that they won't come at all!!!
Oh, and please nothing about how if I'm terrified to tell my parents I'm not mature enough to get married---you would be terrified of my father too. He's scarier than the devil.How do I announce my engagement to my disapproving father?
Tell him in a note if you must but I would make the engagement short so that you don't have to deal with his bad mood for too long. It'll make it easier on your mom, too, I bet.
Plan with the intentions that your parents will not attend or help with the wedding. Then you won't be disappointed. Do make sure you record the wedding, take pictures of your dress, etc for your mom. It sounds like they have a domestic violence or other co-dependence - like relationship. I'd get myself into counseling to deal with the issues you have had to face living with them. There relationship does not seem healthy - dad is way too stern and mom is a pushover to maintain the peace.... not good.How do I announce my engagement to my disapproving father?
My father's old school Italian....do NOT tell me about scary parents! You just have to grow a backbone and spit it out! If you can't, you don't want to get married. Simple as that!
I understand problems in the parental relationship all too well. I had some anxiety over announcing the news as well, but was greatly relieved when it was out there.
So, the big question is, do you want to maintain a relationship with your parents or could you care less?
If you want to keep the relationship, marrying this guy isn't going to go over well at all. The news might ruin the relationship you have with your father. Be prepared. You will then be making the choice between your father and your partner, but remember who is forcing you to make that choice.
If you don't care to keep your father in your life, just tell him casually, seems the phone might be your best bet, and be prepared to handle any over-reactions. Don't defend yourself, don't justify your actions, just say ';I'm sorry you feel that way.'; and end the conversation with that.
I chose to tell my mom over the phone while she was working knowing with co-workers in earshot she would be less likely to say something rude or to try to bring me down and it worked, for the most part. She wasn't enthusiastic, but I never would have expected that much anyhow. Perhaps you could work out something similar to soften the blow, so to speak.
You don't mention your mother in this. Is she also opposed to your boyfriend? If not speak to her about it ... maybe she can offer some suggestions. But I wouldn't count on their help with a wedding or even their attending. And if he decides no to speak to you for years, well he's a childish person and it's his loss. I guess sailors are as wimpy as they say they are! LOL I'm just kidding. My husband was a Marine.
Why not just plan a small wedding? Or just go to the city hall. To me that would be less stressful than worrying about how a parent will act at a wedding!!
How can you get a military man to do anything, but you say he knows your weak spots, so suck it up old girl and make up your mind you will not let him push them. Just tell them flat outand don't act scared, present him with something already formed in cement. To what little knowledge a military man respects courage and would rather have you (excuse me) but spit right in his eye before cowering before him. And I bet your Mom in private has got his number down pat, he doesn't just want you to know it. He is after all under the uniform an all that sputter, just a man, just a father, and he may be having trouble losing you (and no man weill ever be food enouh for his child) Have fiance have his uniform on and, present a united front and tell fiance' to give
as good as he gets only nicely and I think---I am by no means an expert----father may take it better than you think, And what is the worst thing that could happen, so they get mad, your Mom would find a way to see you anyway. Be firm not arrogant when you tell them, like your minds or made up, don't ask, but you would like their approval but if not, let them know you are going to do it anyway. Be mature--he is just a man--he is used to command and old habits die hard. Again, if it were me and like I said, but if the man my daughter was going to marry came to us like a scared wimp, I wouldn't care for that. I had rather he say M. and Mrs . orJoe and Betty, Erin and I have decided to get married and we wanted you to be the first we told. Simple, keep it simple. And remember when you have children (if you want kids) he will be putty in your hands. Hope so anyway. May not be right just some observations. Good luck.But I do know if you present someone with something already settled and done and do not ask for help or t heir opinion it takes away the chance of giving them anything to say. Don't ask opinions. Just do.
I had to go through the same thing with my mom. The longer you wait, the greater the anxiety is, building up. Just do it. Its like jumping in a pool of cold water. The way I did it, I was pretty much just sitting around, I had been engaged for a few weeks and decided to snap out of my fears. My mom was in the bathroom doing her hair. I just went in there and held my hand out, with my ring on. She looked at it, looked away from me, gave me her usual speech, and it was over. She has accepted the fact that it is happening. Your dad actually sounds a lot scarier, but its still something you need to approach with confidence and assertiveness.
The devil isn't that scary, once you know how to deal with him.
He's only scary because you allow him to be.
If he knows what buttons to push, then 'cut the switch' on those buttons, like an electrician snipping a wire. You're right ... he knows exactly how to play you, so stop letting him.
Be different.
Stop cow-towing to him, and be less 'daddy's girl', if that's the usual role you play. Whatever you're doing, STOP it, and take a new approach.
He will never change, so you have to work within his limitations, and do a little changing yourself.
First, stop caving into him the minute he starts to growl.
Second, have as many family members around you when you tell them so that he might be less likely to spoil everyone's good time.
Also, in the next few days, why not prepare some facts and figures in black and white, print them out, and SHOW him why your guy is solid husband material. Give the regimented military man a detailed requisition for a husband, and show him all of the things that make your guy perfect for you: Salary potential, family pedigree, common interests, desire for children, no drinking or drug use (Gawd, I hope not), desire for stability ... whatever other ammo you can bring to this gunfight, bring it. Hit him with as much raw data as you can, and smile while he's reading it. Show no fear. Become stronger, and he will start respecting you. Right now, he doesn't.
My father was old-school Italian, so I know from stubborn. When you turn men like our dad's inside out, they only want for us to have a better life than they did, and they would walk through hot coals if we really needed something. They're softies inside ... somewhere. If you could find your dad's gooey cream-filled center, that might help, too.
Best of luck and thank your man for serving, and give him a *big hug* Congrats !!!
So I guess I'm back to my question: How do I tell them? How do I deal with my father? I'm worried that we won't be on speaking terms for several years. I'm worried that they won't help us at all with our wedding, and they'll be very poor sports, or that they won't come at all!!!
Oh, and please nothing about how if I'm terrified to tell my parents I'm not mature enough to get married---you would be terrified of my father too. He's scarier than the devil.How do I announce my engagement to my disapproving father?
Tell him in a note if you must but I would make the engagement short so that you don't have to deal with his bad mood for too long. It'll make it easier on your mom, too, I bet.
Plan with the intentions that your parents will not attend or help with the wedding. Then you won't be disappointed. Do make sure you record the wedding, take pictures of your dress, etc for your mom. It sounds like they have a domestic violence or other co-dependence - like relationship. I'd get myself into counseling to deal with the issues you have had to face living with them. There relationship does not seem healthy - dad is way too stern and mom is a pushover to maintain the peace.... not good.How do I announce my engagement to my disapproving father?
My father's old school Italian....do NOT tell me about scary parents! You just have to grow a backbone and spit it out! If you can't, you don't want to get married. Simple as that!
I understand problems in the parental relationship all too well. I had some anxiety over announcing the news as well, but was greatly relieved when it was out there.
So, the big question is, do you want to maintain a relationship with your parents or could you care less?
If you want to keep the relationship, marrying this guy isn't going to go over well at all. The news might ruin the relationship you have with your father. Be prepared. You will then be making the choice between your father and your partner, but remember who is forcing you to make that choice.
If you don't care to keep your father in your life, just tell him casually, seems the phone might be your best bet, and be prepared to handle any over-reactions. Don't defend yourself, don't justify your actions, just say ';I'm sorry you feel that way.'; and end the conversation with that.
I chose to tell my mom over the phone while she was working knowing with co-workers in earshot she would be less likely to say something rude or to try to bring me down and it worked, for the most part. She wasn't enthusiastic, but I never would have expected that much anyhow. Perhaps you could work out something similar to soften the blow, so to speak.
You don't mention your mother in this. Is she also opposed to your boyfriend? If not speak to her about it ... maybe she can offer some suggestions. But I wouldn't count on their help with a wedding or even their attending. And if he decides no to speak to you for years, well he's a childish person and it's his loss. I guess sailors are as wimpy as they say they are! LOL I'm just kidding. My husband was a Marine.
Why not just plan a small wedding? Or just go to the city hall. To me that would be less stressful than worrying about how a parent will act at a wedding!!
How can you get a military man to do anything, but you say he knows your weak spots, so suck it up old girl and make up your mind you will not let him push them. Just tell them flat outand don't act scared, present him with something already formed in cement. To what little knowledge a military man respects courage and would rather have you (excuse me) but spit right in his eye before cowering before him. And I bet your Mom in private has got his number down pat, he doesn't just want you to know it. He is after all under the uniform an all that sputter, just a man, just a father, and he may be having trouble losing you (and no man weill ever be food enouh for his child) Have fiance have his uniform on and, present a united front and tell fiance' to give
as good as he gets only nicely and I think---I am by no means an expert----father may take it better than you think, And what is the worst thing that could happen, so they get mad, your Mom would find a way to see you anyway. Be firm not arrogant when you tell them, like your minds or made up, don't ask, but you would like their approval but if not, let them know you are going to do it anyway. Be mature--he is just a man--he is used to command and old habits die hard. Again, if it were me and like I said, but if the man my daughter was going to marry came to us like a scared wimp, I wouldn't care for that. I had rather he say M. and Mrs . orJoe and Betty, Erin and I have decided to get married and we wanted you to be the first we told. Simple, keep it simple. And remember when you have children (if you want kids) he will be putty in your hands. Hope so anyway. May not be right just some observations. Good luck.But I do know if you present someone with something already settled and done and do not ask for help or t heir opinion it takes away the chance of giving them anything to say. Don't ask opinions. Just do.
I had to go through the same thing with my mom. The longer you wait, the greater the anxiety is, building up. Just do it. Its like jumping in a pool of cold water. The way I did it, I was pretty much just sitting around, I had been engaged for a few weeks and decided to snap out of my fears. My mom was in the bathroom doing her hair. I just went in there and held my hand out, with my ring on. She looked at it, looked away from me, gave me her usual speech, and it was over. She has accepted the fact that it is happening. Your dad actually sounds a lot scarier, but its still something you need to approach with confidence and assertiveness.
The devil isn't that scary, once you know how to deal with him.
He's only scary because you allow him to be.
If he knows what buttons to push, then 'cut the switch' on those buttons, like an electrician snipping a wire. You're right ... he knows exactly how to play you, so stop letting him.
Be different.
Stop cow-towing to him, and be less 'daddy's girl', if that's the usual role you play. Whatever you're doing, STOP it, and take a new approach.
He will never change, so you have to work within his limitations, and do a little changing yourself.
First, stop caving into him the minute he starts to growl.
Second, have as many family members around you when you tell them so that he might be less likely to spoil everyone's good time.
Also, in the next few days, why not prepare some facts and figures in black and white, print them out, and SHOW him why your guy is solid husband material. Give the regimented military man a detailed requisition for a husband, and show him all of the things that make your guy perfect for you: Salary potential, family pedigree, common interests, desire for children, no drinking or drug use (Gawd, I hope not), desire for stability ... whatever other ammo you can bring to this gunfight, bring it. Hit him with as much raw data as you can, and smile while he's reading it. Show no fear. Become stronger, and he will start respecting you. Right now, he doesn't.
My father was old-school Italian, so I know from stubborn. When you turn men like our dad's inside out, they only want for us to have a better life than they did, and they would walk through hot coals if we really needed something. They're softies inside ... somewhere. If you could find your dad's gooey cream-filled center, that might help, too.
Best of luck and thank your man for serving, and give him a *big hug* Congrats !!!
How do you deal with this?
ok, so as much as he hurt me, I still love my ex and sometimes I randomly get stuck in these moods where i'm pissed off at the world because I keep thinking of him and missing him. we both said and did somethings we shouldn't have, and we both hurt each other. it's been about two weeks since we last spoke, and a month since we broke up. i've seen him commenting a few girls on myspace, and he always put ';don't care'; and ';single'; on his myspace. im not gonna lie, i've comented other guys too and gotten y share of coments, but i love him more then anything and i would kill to have him back. it hurts to see him talking to other girls and putting that on his status, and it hurts e that he doesn't care as he says. how do you deal with loving someone who doesn't love you, and how do you deal with seeing the person you love with soeone else? i've never dealt with this before and it's a lot harder then i thought it would be. and also, is it possible that he's completely forgotten I exist?How do you deal with this?
I know exactly what you're feeling, and although you may not think so, you WILL get over it. Right now it seems as if this is the end of the world for you, trust me I know, but the fact of the matter is, it isn't. Time heals everything, what you need to do (as difficult as it sounds) is to perhaps either not get on Myspace anymore, or just remove him from your friends list, that way you won't be tempted into looking at his page/statuses.
The more you look at it, the more it's going to hurt, you'll just end up dwelling on the situation, which isn't going to help at all with the healing process.
I know exactly what you're feeling, and although you may not think so, you WILL get over it. Right now it seems as if this is the end of the world for you, trust me I know, but the fact of the matter is, it isn't. Time heals everything, what you need to do (as difficult as it sounds) is to perhaps either not get on Myspace anymore, or just remove him from your friends list, that way you won't be tempted into looking at his page/statuses.
The more you look at it, the more it's going to hurt, you'll just end up dwelling on the situation, which isn't going to help at all with the healing process.
How to deal with this?
ok, so as much as he hurt me, I still love my ex and sometimes I randomly get stuck in these moods where i'm pissed off at the world because I keep thinking of him and missing him. we both said and did somethings we shouldn't have, and we both hurt each other. it's been about two weeks since we last spoke, and a month since we broke up. i've seen him commenting a few girls on myspace, and he always put ';don't care'; and ';single'; on his myspace. im not gonna lie, i've comented other guys too and gotten y share of coments, but i love him more then anything and i would kill to have him back. it hurts to see him talking to other girls and putting that on his status, and it hurts e that he doesn't care as he says. how do you deal with loving someone who doesn't love you, and how do you deal with seeing the person you love with soeone else? i've never dealt with this before and it's a lot harder then i thought it would be. and also, is it possible that he's completely forgotten I exist?How to deal with this?
What did he do to hurt you? Why did you break up?
You broke up for a reason. Move on with your life. Don't go back. Move forward. Why does it hurt that he says ';don't care';? He's no longer with you, so he doesn't care. You don't love him. It sounds like you like the anguish and drama of it all. If you both really loved each other, then you wouldn't have done whatever you both did to hurt each other. Stop checking his My Space page. You're on the verge of becoming a stalker.How to deal with this?
he could just be putting on an act because he's hurt too. if you can, try and talk to him about it and if it still doesn't work then you just need to try and move on. it will be difficult and long but you have to keep in mind that if it didn't work out its for a reason and it wasn't meant to be. instead of only remembering the good times, you have to remember some bad times too, to remind yourself of why you two aren't right for each other. and no matter what just remember that if this guy didn't work out, that means there is an even better guy waiting for you and its only a matter of time before you start a new chapter in your life. whether it takes a week, a month, or a year, it will happen you just have to believe that it will all be ok
What did he do to hurt you? Why did you break up?
You broke up for a reason. Move on with your life. Don't go back. Move forward. Why does it hurt that he says ';don't care';? He's no longer with you, so he doesn't care. You don't love him. It sounds like you like the anguish and drama of it all. If you both really loved each other, then you wouldn't have done whatever you both did to hurt each other. Stop checking his My Space page. You're on the verge of becoming a stalker.How to deal with this?
he could just be putting on an act because he's hurt too. if you can, try and talk to him about it and if it still doesn't work then you just need to try and move on. it will be difficult and long but you have to keep in mind that if it didn't work out its for a reason and it wasn't meant to be. instead of only remembering the good times, you have to remember some bad times too, to remind yourself of why you two aren't right for each other. and no matter what just remember that if this guy didn't work out, that means there is an even better guy waiting for you and its only a matter of time before you start a new chapter in your life. whether it takes a week, a month, or a year, it will happen you just have to believe that it will all be ok
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