My daughter is 20 years old. When she was 17 she had her first child, a little girl...when this little girl was born my daughter moved 180 miles away and left the baby with me. She told me she loved her baby and was moving away (with her boyfriend, tho not the father of the baby) to provide a better life for her daughter. I had to agree the little town we live in offers nothing, so I thought she was doing what was best. Each month, as regular as clock work she needed 200.00 to help with her part of rent, and yes, she was working, but everything she made went towards herself. Unnecessary things such as thigh high boots, lingerie, just things for herself as I said.
Meanwhile I have the baby, she would come in for short stints of a weekend or so, on one of these weekends she is playing with the baby and she tells me that the baby, although she loves her very much doesn't feel like her baby, that she feels more like the baby's 'sister' and tells me she will never take the baby from me because she see's how we have bonded.
My daughter is a very, very, high strung girl. Fights with the boyfriend were escalating since she was living with him. She is very possessive and jealous and so that didn't help their relationship.
It came to the point where he had to make her leave because she was causing so much disruption at his place that he was being threatened with eviction. Even though she could no longer live with him they were still a couple.
So now she's back (at this time, she isn't anymore), and her attitude is HORRID! It always has been though, just a for instance, her brother had cancer when he was 17, luckily, it was something that was caught VERY VERY early, in fact if you know anything about cancer he was in stage 1e, and he has been cancer free since his chemo and radiation. He just had his 4 year checkup and next year he won't have to go but every 5 years (HOORAY), but when he was diagnosed my daughter happened to be in one of her moods and told him ';I hope it kills you.';
So, that's just a little into my daughters actions, they are always like that...she is always hateful and vindictive, and once she moved back home with us and the baby she started using the baby against us. She would threaten to take her, threaten that we were never going to see her (the baby) again, just everything you don't want to hear.
Then she did it. She took the baby, gave her to the father who had never once asked to see her, although he did pay his child support (to my daughter who used it, again, all to herself) and has cut us out of her life, the baby's life, and now she has another baby and we aren't allowed to see him either.
The little girl is honestly better off with her father (who is married, has another child, and does seem to be doing very well by the little girl).
But then my daughter will get into the moods where she wants us to come over and take her son (the new baby) for the night, and we always have. She has her daughter every other weekend now because after she gave the little girl to her father she decided she wanted her back and he decided differently. He wasn't just going to let go of his little girl.
And when my daughter is in a good mood she'll say ';would you like me to bring her over for a visit'; and then not show up because sometime between talking to us and getting the little girl she gets mad (usually at the boyfriend-the father of her son-and the same guy this whole time) and then takes it out on us.
Her boyfriend is very mentally abusive to my daughter, although, the way she treats him, I do understand that they may be his only way that he can deal with her. I heard him tell her at one point during her pregnancy that looking at her made him want to vomit.
When she first found out she was pregnant with their child he invited her to Nashville to go on a shopping spree, when they got to Nashville they went straight to the womens clinic, he had made an appt for her to have an abortion. She went in, she says, with him on one side of her and his father on the other side, both holding her at the elbows. She went in the back and refused the abortion but told him she had had it. When he found out differently he went ballistic and made her pay him back the money he had spent.
So that's their relationship.
But, my thing is, how do I deal with this. Her being so mean and disrespectful and hurting us to no end, and than she gets ok and wants us to be in her life.
I'm thinking ';tough love'; where for a while, until she can figure things out, I just stay out of her, and her childrens life completely.
This is killing me. I can't tell you how much I sit and cry over all this mess.
Oh, and then, this past week I had to have a biopsy on my breast. I told her about it. Her response, ';we all have to die sometime, don't we?';
Does anyone have any advice or can you tell me whereHow do I deal with my daughter, contemplating tough love but need someone to help..?
.I know she's your daughter but the time has come to disown her. In this day and age no woman should be getting pregnant.She's not an innocent teen,she's foot loose and fancy free.With no idea of duty or responsibility.Get her to sign the adoption papers for this young girl. Now tell her she's to get lost and lose the keyHow do I deal with my daughter, contemplating tough love but need someone to help..?
Call CPS on her and hope they give custody of her child(ren) to you and then cut her out of your life.
Your family seems prone to cancer (no offense) and if she ever gets it - she will understand how horridly she acted towards you and her brother.
Definitely time to disown her but I would try and do something about her child(ren) first. Try to gain custody or take them and run - I bet she won't shed a tear or call the cops about them going missing (from what you have said about her).
Whatever you decide good luck and I will be praying for you.
~Pro-Choice Momma; Have had an abortion %26lt;no regrets%26gt; and I have a 17 month old daughter %26lt;no regrets%26gt;. I believe in protecting my daughter's choice.
Abortion: There is a Consensus
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsSQiazUv
Sounds like my situation. I'm currently working with my former son-in-law to get custody. Our problem is that he lives in Texas, whereas she moved to Missouri which has a history of denying fathers rights.
If you want, you can write me and we can talk.
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