How does having a depressed loved one make you feel?

i have depression, from my dads side of the family genetics, and my mom doesnt understand it. shes supportive, but i always feel like im hurting her. I just never know how to explain it to her, and I know its hard for her to watch me suffer.



sometimes i even get angry that she cant understand, and then i get angry at myself for getting upset with her. its like poison. i hate the way i react and respond, and i hate the hold depression has on me.



Does anyone have stories or experience with people you love dealing with depression? what did they do to ease your worry, or what could they have done?



What can I do for my loved ones while I'm trying to get better (going through countless medications and costing a fortune for dr.s bills, ive been in treatment for 3 years, and it doesnt seem to be going anywhere)How does having a depressed loved one make you feel?
My Mother has suffered from depression most of my life. As a child I didnt know about it, she was very good at COPING for the sake of my sister and I. When we grew up and were out of the house it continued to get worse for her. I guess for me the hardest part is feeling so helpless to do anything useful for her. i cant take it away and it kills me to see her suffering so. My Mothers mother also suffered from it and all 3 of her sisters suffered from it on one level or another. I totally believe that it has to do with genetics. I am sooo sorry for you that your Mother is not more understanding, it might be her pain in the way, you know? This may be hard for you to do, but you have to surround yourself with people that DO get you and do sympathize, you need to focus on your own recovery and not her confusion over your illness. Right now is not the time to ponder what YOU should be doing for your loved ones. You wont get better if you shift your focus. Explain it to them later when you are healthy in mind body and spirit. I truly hope that you are getting quality professional help. Depression is manageable. My Mother is 60 now and she is doing okay, but it took a long time to find the right medication and so on. She also found out only 7 years ago she is diabetic, that probably compounded her depression. My Mom probably still needs more psychological help, but she is managing. I wish you the best of luck.How does having a depressed loved one make you feel?
depression isnt real, its just people feeling sorry for themselves. its just stupid people with low esteem



low esteem isnt real either, it is just people feeling sorry for themselves, wanting other people to feel sorry for them and to shower pity on them like a rain shower.
Bless your heart. Depression does hurt, and unfortunately it hurts all involved, even pets. I myself battle depression, sometimes it wins, sometimes I do. I certainly don't have a magic bullet or secret spell. Wish I did, I can certainly relate to your mother and yours relationship. My mother is seldom depressed, she is 68 years old, and happy as a lark most of the time. She doesn't get it either, and makes snide remarks to me all the time. But I'm usually so depressed, they have little effect on me. I take a medication called Zoloft, it has helped, but I don't believe there is a cure. Walking helps me, when I can make myself do it. If you believe in a higher power, this to can help. Sometimes I pray so very hard. Try thinking good thoughts, do something for someone, like take an elderly person that lives alone some flowers, book, or just go and have a glass of tea with them. Ask them for Wisdom, they have lived a long time and may have some worthwhile advice.
You can not control how your mother feels. You can only control how you feel. You will only exacerbate your own depression by feeling guilty about your mom. She is responsible for how she feels when she sees you depressed. Constructively, she could educate herself by reading about depression, what it is, why it happens and what loved ones can do to help someone who is suffering from this illness.



You do not have to explain it to her - she is a grown woman and needs to take control of her life the same as you need to take control of your life.



Depression is very debilitating. You need find out if there is some metabolic reason for your depression. Do you have diabetes? Depression and diabetes often go hand in hand. If you have not had your blood glucose checked lately then perhaps you need to have that done - just to rule out diabetes.



There are things you can do to help manage your depression. If you physician permits it you should seriously consider exercise. Exercise is one of the best methods for controlling depression. Set up an exercise program (with your physicians approval) and stick to it no matter how you feel. Walk, walk, walk. It's good for the soul.



My dad suffered from depression. I didn't need to feel bad or hurt because of it - I needed to do what I could to help him help himself -- after that the rest was up to him and to his doctors.



Remember that depression can be managed. Work with your doctors and know that there is light at the end of that dark tunnel - you just need to find it.



Good luck and do not take on any more guilt - you can't afford it.
I empathize with you on both counts. I have a husband who's bipolar %26amp; 3 daughters with the same illness. It can very extremely frustration dealing with their depression %26amp; manic episodes. Some days are worse than others for my daughter, she really gets seriously depressed, but refuses medication. I try to be supportive %26amp; explain to her that it's basically false emotions brought on by a chemical imbalance in the brain. It's also a matter of finding the right medication a good therapist who can give you tools in dealing with depression. There should be a free mental health unit in your area who can give you cognitive behavior therapy %26amp; medications to you at little or no cost. Mental illness does typically run in families, so it wouldn't hurt to get the family involved in group therapy. I've been in therapy several times outpatient %26amp; inpatient. I've learned so much %26amp; have the tools to deal with depression, anger, anxiety, etc. It's a matter of changing the way you think %26amp; reprogram your mind to thing positively, rather than negativity. This helps with a therapist %26amp; medication, if needed. Rememeber happiness is a choice. Love yourself %26amp; get help. Also be extremely frank with your doctors %26amp; therapists. Good luch %26amp; be happy.
Whatever you do, don't listen to people like Ruthie P!! She's the one who's stupid. It's uneducated people like her who make it worse. As far as self-esteem, I think that she has a little too much of it and should seek help herself. It's really easy to criticize when you don't know what you're talking about or if you've never been through it...and if you don't know what you're talking about, you should keep your mouth shut.



I've been through it and I know it's really hard. As far as your family, just do your best. Sometimes it's hard just getting out of bed in the morning and I hope that your family can understand that. I know it's hard on them too, but you shouldn't feel guilty about it...it's not like you're doing it on purpose, you have a legitimate medical illness. Get whatever help and support you can from doctors, friends, family, etc. I hope you feel better soon. Best of luck.
I am sorry to hear that you and your family is in so much pain. If your current meds are not working, have you discussed this with your doctor? Have you considered changing doctors? There are numerous antidepressants today and it is tricky to get the right dosage. Have you thought about psychotherapy in conjunction with the meds. Family therapy? That can be very helpful. There are agencies that offer a sliding scale to those who are eligible.



Pamphlets can be obtained from Alliance for the Mentally Ill or from your doctor that have advice on how the family can support you. Best wishes.
Yes, depression is incredibly real, and it's incredibly painful to watch and to experience. I really hope that your treatment does get somewhere... often, it just takes time.



I, myself, have a sister who has been diagnosed w/ schizoaffective (generally speaking, a combo of bipolar w/ some schizophrenic qualities). It's very difficult to watch her suffer because I know that ultimately it is not her fault for doing the things that she does, feeling the way she does, and being where she is [jobless, few friends]. She refuses to take medication, which is a common problem for patients in this category because they often believe nothing is ';wrong,'; but it's often frustrating because perhaps the medication can provide some sort of relief for us (the family) and her.



This situation has been something I've been dealing with all my life and has affected me in many profound ways. It has in many ways shaped the person I am today and has influenced the way I have planned for my future. I've made cried, I've made sacrifices... But I do not and will not blame my sister for the effect she has had on me... because above all, I love her with all my heart, and I will do anything to make sure that she will get better. If she experiences even a second of happiness, it makes my day a million times better; if she does something uncharacterstically good, I feel proud because I know in some way she is trying. The thing I hold onto the most is hope - hope that she will get better, and everytime I see these shining moments, I feel my hope being restored.



Hang in there. Your mom is probably just confused because depression in itself often breeds from complex circumstances. But don't feel like you are the one to blame. I'm sure she knows you are trying, and that is all the matters :) stay hopeful!
Ignore people like Ruthie who are obviously Tom Cruise's followers and don't know what the #$% they are talking about.

Depression is an illness....and living at a time like this one doesn't help either. Don't feel guilty about feeling bad...I know what you mean though.....I hope things get better for you, I really do.