How to deal with this?

Ok im the youngest in my family. Im 20 and I have 4 older bros and 2 older sisters. They dont know im gay even though i think they suspect i am. Well anyways last night, because I dont go out too often, my sister said it wasnt normal for a guy my age not to be out on a saturday night. And then my older brothers started asking me why wasnt I out and there were so many hot girls out on the town.



I just said I wasnt interested to go out and then they started throwing questions at me like Do i have friends ? How many girls have I got with in the past few months ? Was i GAY ?



I didnt reply and they kept saying oh a gay lifestyle is not normal and its not right and if friends and extended family found out I would be cut off and alone. I just went out of the house cause i couldnt take any more of the hounding. My family is just so homophobic. They all go to church while I make a point not too, which also makes them angry. I believe in a loving god not a god portrayed hating gay people. I could never feel comfortable coming out to family as i would never be able to feel ok with it and i know that they will disown me.



While my siblings are the popular socialites who dont do much to contribute to society because they dont work, bar two of my brothers, Im more reserved and shy and in Med school. I worked so hard in school and college to get where i am in life and now they hound me all the time about my sexuality, i feel so alone as they make me feel the way i am is not right. Im sorry for the long question and would appreciate any advice. Thanks a lot!How to deal with this?
Hey Irish lad! im sorry ur in that situation. that was so unfair of ur bro and sis to say that to u. the ''gay lifestyle'' lol?? everyone is different so i totally disagree with that. and its not not ''normal'' not to go out every saturday night.



are u sure that ur family is homophobic? i recently came out to my parents and they were accepting, despite the fact i thought they'd have flipped. anyways, theres no reason for u to come out if ur not ready or if it will only make things worse.



actually my family is at mass now. i stopped going months aho because the priest bluntly came out and said the same sex marriage was wrong. i told my parents i needed to study for the Leavng cert and mass was a waste of my time. that i dont believe alot of it.



i think its awesome ur going to med school.just think of the good ul be doing in years to come. think of the stability and security ull have. will ur bro and sis have that?





btw, if they go to church and are catholics, the official teaching of the church is that gay people are to be loved and supported. there welcome in the church as long as they do not give in to their sexual preferences. in other words, not be themselves.



if u know ur parents will throw u out, then definately wait till after med school.



best of luck to u! if u want to talk just email moi.How to deal with this?
First of all, a lot of people think that a 20-yr old not liking to hang out on the weekend and do stupid stuff is ';not normal.'; It has nothing to do with being gay. When I was 20, I didn't go out much and, even though I am a lesbian, no one suspected me of being one. The only thing about you is you're a guy, and people DO expect guys to either have a girlfriend or be chasing after girls or talking about girls all the time. If anything really makes people wonder about your sexual orientation, it's that. If you had a gf, they'd back off. I'm not telling you to go out and get one, but it's your choice to come out or not come out...and if you want to cover your orientation up, it's best to talk about girls more, at the very least.



As far as the homophobic comments...it's really up to how brave you are as to how to handle it. Your options range from ignoring it and/or walking away as you did to telling people off or voicing your opinions. Since I don't particularly care whether or not people suspect/know I'm a lesbian, I have no problem telling people what I think about gays and their opinion of gays...it's just a matter of my mood at the time--sometimes I don't feel like arguing, and other times I will put forth a logical argument about how they're calling people names when there is XYZ slur they don't like being called or how thinking being gay is wrong/abnormal is an opinion not a fact. Again, if you're worried about being found out, then try to ignore them/walk away when they start saying those things.